Today I was reading this great guest blog post on Social Media Guru Chris Brogan’s site. The article was about how to overcome your fear when going out into public and speaking and networking at social events and conferences and such.  Before I go on, let me make the point I want to make now:

I feel that the fear and shyness people have is because of ‘acceptance’ and ‘being accepted.’ Reality is people can accept you without having to agree with everything you say and do and how you say and do it, even if you are sometimes nice and sometimes naughty. READ: Chris Rock (love that guy)!

But on a much more serious note- if you don’t have the courage to stand up and face your fears and confidently talk to people, take a lesson from this inspirational young Scottish chap, Andrew Johnston, cheers.

If people can’t accept you the way you are…you don’t need them. As the Renegades always say-Keep it real and keep it moving. Anyway, this article that I was reading on shyness reminded me of when I was young how my mom (who’s half Native American Indian) was all about the communal and the forces of the universe kind of living. Her belief is everybody is connected somehow…whether through blood, friends, personality type, dreams or interests. And I have to admit that I  haven’t met someone who didn’t fit that bill yet! She also felt that children should be SEEN and HEARD because otherwise they would’t be children would they?

Those skill sets and that mindset that I developed early on has been invaluable in making me realize that it truly is a ’small world’ after all. Whenever I am out and about and make eye contact with a person for a second or two it drives me bananas if I don’t smile or somehow acknowledge the person and it drives me banana split when they don’t say something or acknowledge me in return. After reading the article today I commented on it because I believe that this fear and shyness of speaking in public builds up when you are young. Think about it for a minute- you grow up with own room and your own TV and your own stereo (do they still make those things, lol) doing your own thing. You have some socialization in school, sort of. It is regulated for the most part because you can’t talk when the teacher is talking. And with the exception of being at lunch the teacher is always talking right.  Over time you might become close with a few people but you are never really exposed to situations where you have the opportunity to talk to people openly about different things that matter to you. When you are at home you interact with your parents and siblings (but in a different kind of way). You are probably careful about what you say because of fear of “getting into trouble for being disrespectful” or challenging the authority. And when your parents do build up the nerve to take you out into public places they tell you to SHHHHH! because you are embarrassing them and you need to be on your best behavior or ELSE!!! They say that if you don’t sit down and be quiet…XYZ terrible thing is going to happen to you. So in many ways you are being conditioned from early on in your childhood that if you talk in public places you are somehow ‘bad’ or doing something wrong. Sometimes you outgrow it but for many I don’t believe this is the case. So how do you get over it? Indeed it’s a process. I say think sugar and spice and sometimes nice. The biggest fear for most people is being accepted. You have to realize that people can accept you without having to agree with you.  Don’t worry about if you said something ‘wrong’. If you don’t feel comfortable to make tasteful or corny jokes, then don’t. Just greet the person and ask them ‘what brought you here today?’ to get the dialogue started. Use your good behavior words, “please and thank you.” And instead of being competitive be empowering by asking “how can I help you?” For more great tips and tricks read today’s article: “On Being Shy”.

Until next time, say it loud and say it proud! And whenever you get scared, check out a video by your favorite comedian. Works for me